Sure, I haven’t used the bathroom alone in 6 years. I’ve had to jump off the pot mid-use, pants around my ankles to break up a fight or save a child from certain death more times than I can count. But you know what else hasn’t happened for the last 6 years of potty-going? IContinue reading “Parenting Perks”
Tag Archives: motherhood
Giving Up
The other night for dinner I served my children popcorn, corn chips, guacamole and grapes. On the floor. In front of the TV. I had spent the last 12 hrs listening to whining, leaping to keep tiny fingers from getting crushed in doors, and holding my shit together so that the primal scream in myContinue reading “Giving Up”
Bra Bites/Bras Bite
When I was little I wanted a bra SO badly. I would sneak into my mom’s closet and try on her lingerie, pieces I thought were the most elegant but now realize were worn, tired mom bras. It was the early 90s, and shoulder pads were the perfect shape to stuff into the bras. OnContinue reading “Bra Bites/Bras Bite”
Executive Mal-functioning
I have this stack of planners, calendars and journals on my bedside table whose sole purpose is to shame and nag me. The pile continues to grow every time I spot one too beautiful NOT to buy at the Paper Source, or each time I open Instagram to feel bad about my parenting/body/wardrobe and amContinue reading “Executive Mal-functioning”
Minivan of Dreams
These days, we are stuck at home a lot, watching the clock, waiting for that glorious time of day after the tornado of bedtime when we can pretend for 10 or 15 min that all the kids are in bed and won’t bother us again until morning. Before someone needs water. Or their tag itchesContinue reading “Minivan of Dreams”
Worry Checklist – a Day in the Life
•Am I failing my children?•Will my 6-yr-old ever learn to ride a bike?•Why won’t 6-yr-old wipe his own butt? Is it a fine or gross motor problem? Does he need OT? Is he just lazy? Does he need regular therapy?•Should I register for Weight Watchers? Will my therapist be disappointed in my? Does intuitive eatingContinue reading “Worry Checklist – a Day in the Life”
When NOT to call the Doctor
My kids have been hospitalized with bronchiolitis. We have taken an ambulance in the middle of the night with croup. They have had their head stitched up, multiple x-rays, and come close to choking on watermelon. But my most traumatic parenting experience by far happened on a warm, sunny day at the playground when myContinue reading “When NOT to call the Doctor”
Dinner Struggles
Can you believe you have to feed your kids Every. Single. Day? You feed them dinner one night, and for some reason they want dinner again the next day. Dinner with my kids is so loathsome to me that I start having anxiety around 4 PM. What will I make for them? Will they eatContinue reading “Dinner Struggles”
