Spring Cleaning

I just spent an entire week organizing my house. Literally it is all I did for an entire week. And you would never know it. The whole process is really 1 step forward 2 steps back, so it really is possible we are in worse shape now than when we started. Because unless my kids are watching Frozen or eating cookies, they cannot help rediscovering all the items I put in donations bins (because they have gone unplayed-with for months or years), crying hysterically that their heartless mother would ever dream of throwing away the broken wing from their Super Wings plane, and then proceeding to scatter said items throughout the house, yard, and car. And, when I finally feel some progress has been made (if I can muster enough OCD-drive to not pass out after bedtime and instead finish whichever corner of the room is the closest to not giving Marie Kondo a heart attack), when I come downstairs in the morning the area once again looks like a toy store threw up. And so I think I have no choice but to institute some new house rules: toys and games are to be looked at, never touched and definitely never played with. Organized stacks of board games that I worked so hard to ensure have all their pieces are, from now on, purely decorative. And the same goes for our wardrobes – the dressers containing only clothes in the correct sizes are off limits. And if anyone messies the perfect ROYGBIV of the closets, they’ll have me to deal with…

Now that my closet is emptied of all items that no longer fit, what will possibly motivate me not to eat all the cookies all the time? It was recommended that I get rid of my “goal” pants – that a size 4 is so far off from any achievable reality I was only punishing myself by seeing them hanging there, mocking me. But without this reminder won’t my wardrobe be ever increasing in size…and, well…size?…

I would like to file an official complaint to Hasbro and other game-makers. Your products have too many pieces. They are ruining my life. Sincerely, Jessie (mother of 3)