imworriedmytherapisthatesme

Doctor Me

I have seen so many episodes or Grey’s Anatomy, I’m basically a doctor. Truly – med school is how many years? Because I bet I’ve spent that many hours watching Dr. McDreamy operate on brains. I admit, I probably need a bit of time in the OR if I’m going to cut, but that’s justContinue reading “Doctor Me”

Musical Theater Anxieties

You know that scene in The Sound of Music when Maria and Baron Von Trapp finally figure out and profess their love for one another? This could be my least favorite 5 minutes in all of film – and that’s saying something since S.O.M. is my favorite movie of all time (I’ve been to severalContinue reading “Musical Theater Anxieties”

Meg, Jo, Beth or Amy?

Ever since I can remember, I’ve been attracted to the literary or film characters that I’m not supposed to like. I first realized this preference in myself when I was very young. Rugrats was the show du jour in our house, and Angelica was my girl. I remember figuring out that I was supposed toContinue reading “Meg, Jo, Beth or Amy?”

Physical Education

In high school we were required to participate in a sport. I chose tennis because it had the least amount of running – or movement of any kind the way I played. After running out of excuses to tell the head of the P.E. department as to why I couldn’t run the 4 laps aroundContinue reading “Physical Education”

Quotidien Antisemitisms

When people say CHallah bread… At my WASPY elementary school, I accidentally bumped into my academic nemesis as we lined up at the door. He turned around, looked me in the eyes and said ‘Jews have the knack of getting on my nerves.’ We were in 3rd grade. I wonder how he learned a phraseContinue reading “Quotidien Antisemitisms”

“The Seck”

“The Seck” Parents and families have all sorts of weird names for their genitalia. Sometimes these monikers come about organically based on the funny way a child pronounced “vagina” or “testicle.” Sometimes parents are too uncomfortable with the scientific names for body parts and succumb to “pee pee.” A friend of a friend’s family calledContinue reading ““The Seck””

Traditions

At Passover every year someone in the family quietly places a spoon on their nose. A cousin, or an aunt sees this and quickly follows suit. Soon, we are involved in an unspoken, but-never-the-less extremely cutthroat competition until my grandfather has had enough of the sacrilege and cries “Dayenu!”… My grandmother has cooked every mealContinue reading “Traditions”

Fancy Footware

When I was little my mother would not let me get a pair of sparkly Mary Janes. Even though I knew they were the most elegant shoes on earth, she thought they were tacky. I think most of my neuroses stem from this egregious affront… Certainly my attraction to anything glittery is due to theseContinue reading “Fancy Footware”

Christmas Angst

I am in a bad mood from the day after Halloween (3 weeks before Thanksgiving!) when I walk into Starbucks to hear Feliz Navidad and Eggnog lattes on the menu. Christmas season, which has grown in length over my 30 years, is rife with anxiety for me… As the only Jew in my class atContinue reading “Christmas Angst”

I’m worried my therapist hates me

Usually I dress up to go to therapy. It’s important that my therapist doesn’t think I’m as big of a mess as I am. Plus, her shoes are always so cute – she’d clearly judge my Uggs-and-pajama-pants look, no matter how chic it may be… I hate the box of tissues at my therapist’s office.Continue reading “I’m worried my therapist hates me”