Prime, Baby

I recently figured out my calling in life; the job I’ve been training for since attempting this thing called adulthood. I am supposed to be spending my days informing the world about “the 25 BEST Amazon products that you didn’t know you needed,” and the “50 most-liked items for under $50.” I’ve pretty much tested everything Amazon has to offer anyway. May as well put this hard-to-come-by knowledge to good use. Pay it forward, tikkun olam…

Case in point: I drew this purely from memory…

THE BEST PRODUCTS THESE LISTS HAVE TOLD ME TO BUY, BUT WHICH I LIKE TO THINK I COULD HAVE FOUND ON MY OWN: 1. This hard-boiled egg-maker because why boil water in a pot when you can spend money on something that takes us space and scares the sh*t out of you when its buzzer goes off. 2. This tiny desk vacuum because sometimes you make crumbs, and standing up to get the dust-buster is too hard. 3. This giant water bottle whose sole purpose seems to be to nag me until I am so shamed I pee just a little in my pants.