We need to talk about straws. Look, climate change is a real, existential crisis. But do you know what is NOT going to save the polar bears and stop the rate of global warming? The horrible soggy straws I now have to pretend to enjoy my coffee with. I like to sip on my coffee throughout the day to keep the caffeine ecstasy at that perfect level – awake, but not shaky – for as long as possible. But if you don’t finish your drink in one inhale and you’re using a paper straw, you might as well just throw the drink out now. Remember when you were 2 and you learned the hard way that paper airplanes don’t belong in the bath with you? Well, apparently this is not a lesson universally experienced by those in positions of straw design/policy. Starbucks’ decision to create cold-drink sippy cups comes closer to a sustainable drink-option. But really. We can safely land a rover on Mars but can’t come up with a straw that is both environmentally friendly AND that does not disintegrate upon touching your lips? REALLY?!…

You know what could actually save some endangered animals? If we Americans caught up with other parts of the world and made bidets the universal standard of cleanliness. Seriously – once you experience that refreshing squirt, you’ll realize that wiping just doesn’t cut it. And think how many trees we would save – especially if other children use the absurd amount of T.P. my kids seems to…

PARENT HACK: My very wise and unfrazzled friend taught me to use all those paintings/drawings that your kids make that you really just want to throw away as wrapping paper. It looks cool and you can let grandparents believe the art was made specifically for their birthday…

I cannot make eye contact with our neighbors or the men who come each week to gather our recycling. I am too ashamed by the sheer number of boxes we (and by we I mean my husband) have to drag to the curb for pick up each week. And this is WITH my sacrifice to have my Amazon packages come in fewer boxes, 1 whole day later.

Published by imworriedmytherapisthatesme

I'm a history-PhD-turned-stay-at-home-mom of three. When I'm not microwaving Trader Joe's meals for my kids, breaking up fights and wiping butts, I like to paint and write. To cope with the endless hours I'm spending with my son doing virtual school, I've abandoned my gouache paints for the more portable, less messy tried but true, paper and ink. While he learns to read to 20 floating heads on his screen, I sit on a tiny chair, at a tiny table pretending to be a productive adult.

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