Self-Reflection

Do other people notice how strange the mirror image of my face is?…

You know what’s embarrassing? When your therapist asks you to hide your self-view because she can tell you are watching yourself and getting distracted. But really – does anyone actually look at the people they are video calling with? I know for a fact that my kids exclusively stare at themselves. How I know this is because they spend 90% of the time FaceTiming with their grandparents making funny faces at themselves and opening their mouths really big – to what? See their tonsils? Count their tiny teeth? My therapist should be grateful I politely keep my tonsils and teeth to myself…

Awkward silences are always stressful, but I find them especially unbearable in therapy. The other day my therapist told me that during our sessions she an always expect what she referred to as “Jessie’s Worry Time” when I worm vomit all my random anxieties for about 20 min. I laughed and pretended she hadn’t just crushed my soul (recall my obsessive need for approval) but dwelled on this comment constantly for the next week and then made up an excuse to cancel our next session. When I summoned enough courage to face her again I tried to explain that I have to talk to fill the silence and that often I just come up with problems to that we have something to talk about. Her response: awkward silence. Which I filled by asking, “am I not doing therapy right?”…

I don’t quite understand why celebrities (or people in general) are so upset when their naked selfies are leaked to the public. Honestly, if I were confident enough to take a sexy selfie, I would most definitely want the whole world to see it.

Published by imworriedmytherapisthatesme

I'm a history-PhD-turned-stay-at-home-mom of three. When I'm not microwaving Trader Joe's meals for my kids, breaking up fights and wiping butts, I like to paint and write. To cope with the endless hours I'm spending with my son doing virtual school, I've abandoned my gouache paints for the more portable, less messy tried but true, paper and ink. While he learns to read to 20 floating heads on his screen, I sit on a tiny chair, at a tiny table pretending to be a productive adult.

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